Open Up

Today we will learn how to use a double hinge corkscrew. Before you can start swiggin' down that sweet nectar of the gods, you need to get that cork out, and without breaking it or pushing it down the neck inside the bottle. I put together a pictoral step-by-step how to on how to use a corkscrew. Thanks to my lovely girlfriend for letting me use her hands.

Step 1. Get a good bottle.

Step 2. Buy a good double hinged corkscrew.


Step 3. Use the knife on the corkscrew to cut the foil completely around the top of the neck, under the lip.


Step 4. After the cut is made, using the knife again, pull the foil off of the lip. Now find the center of the cork and firmly insert the corkscrew.


Step 5. Now that you have the tip inserted into the cork, start turning the corkscrew firmly clockwise, with even pressure. Make sure that the screw stays in the middle. If the screw goes too far to one side, the cork may break when pulled out. Screw it all the way down so that the first hinge can rest on the lip.


Step 6. Using the first hinge as leverage, pull the handle up.


Step 7. At this point the second hinge should be resting on the lip with the cork halfway out.

Now you can repeat the same motion as step 6.


You did it (I hope)! Time to reward yourself for all the hard work that went into opening that bottle. Cheers, drink up!

Uncork It

Buisness today is all about gimmicks. Look no further than the world of wine for some of the most innovative, convincing ways to waste money. Companies think we are stupid, especially about wine. Every year we get bombarded with products designed to make our wine experience easier or more enjoyable.
Take the Wine Magnet. This thing claims to make a $10 bottle taste like a $300 bottle, and all you have to do is attach a tiny magnet around the neck as you pour.

Another thing that cooks my grits is the existence of nine billion types of corkscrews. CO2-powered openers, mechanical openers, and the creme de la creme, a $210 Genuine Reindeer Horn Chateau Laguiole Master Sommelier. I laugh at you Laguiole.

There is only one type of corkscrew any man will ever need. It's called a double-hinged waiter's corkscrew. Its best features are it costs under $1o plus the ease of operation and classy finesse that you exibit when using an old school corkscrew. With two or three practice runs, you will look like you have been around wine all your life, without those wussy rabbit ear openers.