"Wine? What Wine? I'm Here For The Guys!"

I am sooooo glad i'm not awkward, middle aged, and single.

From Crackle: Drunk Singles Wine Tasting

She Must Really Like Box-O-Wine

Just Give it Some Time

Why wait? That is the question that pops into the head of an everyday guy or gal, when their wine geek buddy stows away a rather over priced bottle of vino. The reason for waiting is worth your time! Even after the fermentation process in the wine barrel, the adult grape juice goes through a completely different set of changes while in the bottle. This makes vintage wine special.
Some new, young wines have a harsh tannins. Tannins are the acidic structure in red wine that makes the wine feel dry. They are tasteless, but if there is too much present, it makes the wine harsh and unplesant. By putting a young bottle away in a temperature and moisture controlled room, the tannic acid reacts with other componets in the wine, then pushed out of the solution, and hardens to form sediment. The color of the wine changes too. Red wine will turn brownish and lighter, whereas white will darken to gold. Smells have a special change also. When a wine is young, the ordor it gives off is known as the "nose". After that same wine has matured, the nose becomes the "bouquet". This is a proper term, describing the complex nature of the elder wine's aroma.

It' Been A Long Time...

Well, after an extremely extended vacation, I'm back, and man do I have some stories for you all! Along with my hiatus from blogging, vino and I needed some time apart as well. It was a harsh and bitter split up, but beer was there to comfort and console me through my troubled times. I missed my sweet wine, however, and beer just couldn't fill the void, so now we are back together and happier than ever.
There are other big things happening in my life as well. I am moving to Santa Barbara County next week, Santa Maria to be exact. There, I will frolic among the grapes and dance upon the wine barrels, free from the froth and frivolity of Los Angeles. So look out for all new material coming fresh to you on It's Just Booze this month!

Open Up

Today we will learn how to use a double hinge corkscrew. Before you can start swiggin' down that sweet nectar of the gods, you need to get that cork out, and without breaking it or pushing it down the neck inside the bottle. I put together a pictoral step-by-step how to on how to use a corkscrew. Thanks to my lovely girlfriend for letting me use her hands.

Step 1. Get a good bottle.

Step 2. Buy a good double hinged corkscrew.


Step 3. Use the knife on the corkscrew to cut the foil completely around the top of the neck, under the lip.


Step 4. After the cut is made, using the knife again, pull the foil off of the lip. Now find the center of the cork and firmly insert the corkscrew.


Step 5. Now that you have the tip inserted into the cork, start turning the corkscrew firmly clockwise, with even pressure. Make sure that the screw stays in the middle. If the screw goes too far to one side, the cork may break when pulled out. Screw it all the way down so that the first hinge can rest on the lip.


Step 6. Using the first hinge as leverage, pull the handle up.


Step 7. At this point the second hinge should be resting on the lip with the cork halfway out.

Now you can repeat the same motion as step 6.


You did it (I hope)! Time to reward yourself for all the hard work that went into opening that bottle. Cheers, drink up!

Uncork It

Buisness today is all about gimmicks. Look no further than the world of wine for some of the most innovative, convincing ways to waste money. Companies think we are stupid, especially about wine. Every year we get bombarded with products designed to make our wine experience easier or more enjoyable.
Take the Wine Magnet. This thing claims to make a $10 bottle taste like a $300 bottle, and all you have to do is attach a tiny magnet around the neck as you pour.

Another thing that cooks my grits is the existence of nine billion types of corkscrews. CO2-powered openers, mechanical openers, and the creme de la creme, a $210 Genuine Reindeer Horn Chateau Laguiole Master Sommelier. I laugh at you Laguiole.

There is only one type of corkscrew any man will ever need. It's called a double-hinged waiter's corkscrew. Its best features are it costs under $1o plus the ease of operation and classy finesse that you exibit when using an old school corkscrew. With two or three practice runs, you will look like you have been around wine all your life, without those wussy rabbit ear openers.

Thank You Yo-Yo

Sometimes you should pamper yourself, I mean really ham it up. I did about a month ago by opening a bottle of 1996 Dom Perignon. I personally would never go out of my way to drop $200 on a bottle of suds, but this very special bottle was given to me by score writer and cellist Yo-Yo Ma. You know, the guy who wrote the music for Hidden Dragon and Memiors of a Geisha.

At my old wine retail job Yo-Yo Ma came in to buy an absurd amount of wine. After he made his purchase and left, I noticed an envelope sitting on the counter. Inside was his passport. As cool as a popsicle, I scooped it up and tracked down his assistant's phone number through the credit card company. About an hour later a black towncar pulls up and Yo-Yo Ma and his assistant hop out. The ever-thankful assistant offered me money to show his gratitude, which I declined. Mr. Ma told his assistant something, then looked at me and smiled. The assistant ran to the trunk of the car, pulled out a green box, and hurried back in with it. "If you will not take money, then you will take this," Mr. Ma demanded, and handed me the bottle of Dom '96. Pretty generous, I have to say.

Later that evening I got home and contemplated the future of the champagne. To store or to drink? After what seemed like hours, the jury of one made his decesion to store it.

About a week passed, and I couldn't wait any longer! Off goes the top, and into the glass it went. This Dom showed beautiful toasted color and a perfect amount of fizz. On the nose I found a hint of citrus and mineral. At my first sip, I thought that the wine was too young, and I was right. I should have put it down for another 5-10 years, and my lack of patience cost me dearly. Toasty biscuit, lemon and metallic flavors came through the stampede of bubbles, with a nice dry finish across my palate. Definitely a good bottle, but I wish that I could have waited.

I am beyond grateful to Yo-Yo Ma for his generosity. Unfortunately, however, my ability to wait to open something good resembles a 9-year-old on Christmas Eve, so my first experience with Dom Perignon was memorable, but not as epic as it would have been if I'd waited a bit.