Uncork It

Buisness today is all about gimmicks. Look no further than the world of wine for some of the most innovative, convincing ways to waste money. Companies think we are stupid, especially about wine. Every year we get bombarded with products designed to make our wine experience easier or more enjoyable.
Take the Wine Magnet. This thing claims to make a $10 bottle taste like a $300 bottle, and all you have to do is attach a tiny magnet around the neck as you pour.

Another thing that cooks my grits is the existence of nine billion types of corkscrews. CO2-powered openers, mechanical openers, and the creme de la creme, a $210 Genuine Reindeer Horn Chateau Laguiole Master Sommelier. I laugh at you Laguiole.

There is only one type of corkscrew any man will ever need. It's called a double-hinged waiter's corkscrew. Its best features are it costs under $1o plus the ease of operation and classy finesse that you exibit when using an old school corkscrew. With two or three practice runs, you will look like you have been around wine all your life, without those wussy rabbit ear openers.